You Can't Go Home Again

In the 1970's, author Andrew X. Pham and his family escaped from Vietnam in a leaky boat.  They nearly died on the water, but were rescued and taken to a refugee camp in Indonesia, ultimately making their way to California by way of Louisiana.  The story of his family and their lives since emigrating is both typical and anything but.  It comes with a lot of unresolved issues, emotions, and the constant struggle for identity in a new world that forces you to redefine who and what you are.  I picked up Catfish and Mandala looking for a story about a journey through a country I was fascinated in.  I got that physical journey and so much more.

Pham relates the story of his childhood in Vietnam and his upbringing in the US as he bikes through Vietnam as an adult.  He has traveled there to find himself--not in a hokey New Age way, but in a genuine attempt to understand the struggles of his family as refugees living in the United States. His family has reached something of a crisis point and he wonders if they had stayed would things have been different or were they always destined to be as they were. 

His welcome to his homeland is anything but warm.  Viet-kieu, or those who left Vietnam during the war,  are not well thought of by many.  Many assume is Korean or Japanese because his is clearly not Vietnamese.  He is insulted often and nearly physically attacked several times when they realize he is Viet-kieu.  At the same time, however, many offer him generous hospitality and quiz him endlessly about life in America. The journey itself becomes a test of endurance, almost a physical punishment.  He rides over 1000 miles through difficult conditions and his own illnesses.  He visits his old home, major cities, and tourist attractions and views them all from a very unique perspective.  He sees the scams, the hustles, the opportunistic entrepreneurship of the people and their poverty and is able to understand it all.  It is both foreign and natural. This was his home but it is unrecognizable to him. Still, Pham finds a better  understanding of his family, his parents, and of himself as he re-discovers his homeland.  He is asked what he will do when he returns to America.  "Be a better American." he replies. 

The journey Pham takes (both physical and spiritual) sounds extremely unpleasant but it was incredibly uplifting and revealing. Vietnam itself, as described in the book, is much the same.  It is a place that might sound unappealing given the arduous journey, food borne illnesses and abuse that Pham endured, but I came away more fascinated by the country than ever. His perspective provided amazing insight into the land and its people.  Is the journey to Vietnam one I will ever take?  I don't know.  But I do know I am very glad that I took the journey along with Pham.